Good Times, Good Times

Gee Amn't I Lucky

This song (can it be called a song?) has been in my head off and on for the last week - I just cannot get over how incredibly lucky I am.  A friend was saying 'just five years ago you were saying it was impossible' - and now five measly years later, I have two children.  TWO!  Children!  Gorgeous, wonderful, impossibly beautiful, smart, miraculous children that I'm (obviously) completely in love with.  Yes.  In love.

The last week has been tremendous - the posh hotel stay, being at home (ok, the first night home wasn't pleasant, I was up til 2 with E - but he slept til 8!  No I don't think that's going to happen all the time.) with A (through the drug haze, I missed her terribly), seeing my friends and neighbors and getting fresh air!  And of course, staring at my little boy - (actually 'and of course, going to see my favorite band last night - ROCK N ROLL!' heh, heh).

We're absolutely in the honeymoon period and loving it.  He's feeding well (now that I feed him*), sleeping well** and just a contented baby.  A. was too for the first three weeks, so I'm not being lulled into a false sense of sleep with this one.  Gee amn't I lucky?

*I'm not producing nearly enough milk for this child so I'm supplementing with formula.  I'm upset about this additional failure of my body (can't make, can barely keep 'em (2 out of 7), can't birth 'em and now can't feed 'em!), but 'whatever' at this point - he gets a bit of the boob - hopefully there are huge immunity benefits in those shots.

**this is the newborn stage - I'm not counting any unhatched chickens - hear that murphy?

On second thought

I dreaded coming for a c-section - did I tell you?  Yes - dreaded it.  Even though I did want the "delivery" (who wouldn't want a watermelon squished out your vagina?) the biggest thing for me is/was the recovery.  Recovery after A. was awful - I got an infection in the incision which oozed and bled, had to be reopened, a wick inserted for drainage and was generally stinky and disgusting - nevermind the pain - oh the pain!  She's worth it of course, yes - this goes without saying doesn't it?  You're in the hospital for so much longer -  and I'll confess here and now that one of the recovery issues (a couple of others are - terrible pain, hideous pain and fucking awful pain) I have is - I have tickets to a show on Monday night that I really want to attend.  Yes I'm 16, sue me.

I'm doing alright with this recovery so far.  I'm up and about -  E and I go out for walks around the floor every day and although I get zings, pings and ouchies, it's quite manageable.  I originally thought I would try to go home early - friday instead of saturday, then I thought to myself - huh?  I'm getting great night's sleeps and my mother in law is at home - what am I thinking? I'm staying at this posh hotel with childcare as long as I can swing it!

Fortunate Son

You ain't no millionaire's son, no - but you are amazingly cherished.

We have our little E - born this morning and weighing in at 7 lbs 6 oz, 18 inches long.  He now looks very much like his sister who, so far, adores him.  She is doting and asking questions and is very excited (especially since "he" gave her princess bracelets - so he can' t be all that bad, right?).

Boyo has latched on like a champ (now I just have to produce) and is sleeping the day away (guess I'm going to be up all night) - we're in heaven.  Today has been so surreal, just so bizarre that we have him here and (knock wood) everything's ok.  He did have a bit of breathing issue when he first came out, but he went to nicu for observation and everything seems fine.

I'm hopped up on morphine - which, surprisingly, I don't like, so I'll try to update more tomorrow.  Pics on facebook.

Mucus, mucus everywhere

C'mon you didn't think I'd get less gross just because we're (hopefully*) adding another kid in the mix, did you?

I've lost my mucus plug over the last few days - does it get more exciting than that?  Yes, I was thrilled to have goop falling out of me - yay!  But it does get better - I had some real contractions last night - alas - today, nothing.  I'm still expecting a c-section tomorrow morning, but I will ask them to check me first - may as well have a hideous cervical check before major abdominal surgery, right?

I don't know if I've been experiencing the 'burst' of energy or if I feel like I have no time left to get anything done, so have been pushing myself, but yesterday I made a spinach pie, lasagna, chicken cacciatore, scones and rice krispie treats.  Sure my back was breaking, but I was on fire!  I could have stayed up all night and I probably should have if I think about how much sleep I finally wound up getting.  Today has been tidying, laundry and spoiling A. as much as the disciplinarian in the family can.  I am going to miss her so much, I can't even think about it.  We've had such a great time together lately (tantrums notwithstanding).  I'm not sure if it's the excess hormones or that I'm just completely head over heels for this girl, but she is just amazing - I mean look at her, watching Arthur, sticking popsicle sticks up her nostrils - brilliant.

In other news-  my mil is coming tomorrow**.  Husband has been taking care of "communicating" (I was conveniently left off these particular emails, but lo and behold, was put back on them today now that the ticket is booked) with her, so of course there were a lot of unknowns.  First - she didn't ask how long we would want her here, second, G didn't ask how long she intended to stay, so she just wound up booking a ticket for Tuesday arrival and the departure?  ONE MONTH LATER.  To her credit, she did preface the date (October 3rd - how shocking is October?) of her departure with "don't panic, I can change the return date if it's too long (or too short)" and yes, she did say "or too short" - so it's all a comedy at this point.  I'm not worried or stressed about it - we'll see how it goes and G is just going to have to take care of getting rid of her if I run out of percosets.

Until tomorrow.

*yes, this is where ultra paranoia kicks in.
**she has said that she wants to come and help with A, cook, clean and let me sleep.  Hey I'll give anyone a go if they'll let me sleep.

And we're due

The emotional rollercoaster doesn't stop - it just changes.  And frankly, I'm done with these rides. 

I had my weekly doctor's appointment on Friday - one fingertip dilated - but BUT! the cervix is soft.  So basically, I am preparing myself for a c-section on Tuesday.  Why c-section?  Why Tuesday?  When I was hoping for a vbac?  Because I'm ancient - that's why (although my lovely doctor always tells me that she forgets how old I am because I look so young - you think she's angling for a tip?).  My previous c-section isn't doing me any favors.  So tomorrow is my due date, doc will let me go two WHOLE days past (I think my midwife would have me go a week, but I don't think they communicate all that much).

All that to say, I was very disappointed that my boy here doesn't seem to want to go anywhere on his own - it's very reminiscent of A's pregnancy and she didn't even want to come out when they went in to get her.  So I'm taking my primrose oil, I have my tens machine (thanks to mil and bil and yes, I know they're for chronic pain, but they're stimulation) on my accupressure points and cooking and cleaning and getting ready for Tuesday.  Yes, anything can happen before Tuesday, but much like the whole process that paved the way for this particular hopefest - I'd much rather be happily surprised than sorely disappointed (again).  And really, if he's anything like A.- who the hell cares how he gets out?